


shyan one shots

by ryans_shaniac



Category: BFU - Fandom, Buzzfeed - Fandom, Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryans_shaniac/pseuds/ryans_shaniac
Summary: I've compiled a couple of one shots from my tumblr that I've written about shane and ryan from buzzfeed unsolved enjoy the angst





	1. “Just leave me alone”

**Author's Note:**

> if you've read these before it's probs bcs you follow my tumblr ryans-shaniac..if you didn't follow it before you should follow it now https://ryans-shaniac.tumblr.com/

Ryan’s echoing sobs haunted his bedroom. He lie on his bed, curled in the fetal position, crying into his pillow. He didn’t know what he was crying about anymore, nor did he care. He just had so many pent up feelings and emotions that it hurt.

 

It hurt that he had to go to school the next day.

 

It hurt to see his best friend.

 

It hurt to be around the guy he was in love with.

 

Ryan didn’t know why he was so in love with Shane. He tried to repress his feelings for so long but there was only so much his poor heart could take before they all came gushing out like a volcano, destroying everything in it’s path. In this case it destroyed Ryan.

 

All it took for everything to come crashing down was Shane bouncing up to Ryan before the last period of the day and announcing to him, and the rest of the hallway,

 

“Sara Rubin just said yes to going on a date with me!”

 

Ryan froze midway through grabbing his psychology book. He didn’t know what to do, it was like he was paralysed. His world had began falling apart around him.

 

Shane’s electrified voice bought him back to reality, “Ry! Hello ghost boy, did you hear what I said?”

 

It took a second for Ryan to compute what Shane had said and snap back to life. He muttered how excited he was for him. Shane’s excitement falted slightly as Ryan slammed his locker door shut and bolted to the nurses office. It was like the world was in slow motion and the people around him were blurred figures, unidentifiable to the tiny kid pushing past them.

 

Ryan’s mom picked him up 10 minutes later and he was silent the entire time. No one could get a word out of him. But really who could blame him? He’d been in love with his best friend for 4 years and he finally had confirmation that there was no chance they could ever be together. No chance of them being the high school sweethearts that stay together after school and get married. No chance of them making the best power couple halloween costumes. No chance of Ryan ever feeling Shane’s soft lips against his own. His dreams were crushed.

 

“So fucking stupid..” Ryan sniffed to himself.

 

He was mad. Mad that he thought he could ever be with Shane. Mad that his innocent crush turned into something so much more. Mad that he was going to have to explain his shitty actions tomorrow. He was mad.

 

There was a soft knock at the door and that made him more mad. Wasn’t being completely silent enough for his mother to know he wasn’t in the right state of mind to talk right now?

 

He threw one of the toys sitting on his bed at the door as a sign of protest to anyone coming in. It hit the door with a thump and fell silently on the ground.

 

“Ryan…” An quiet voice said on the other side of the door.

 

Fuck.

 

What was he doing here?

 

He sounded almost apprehensive and..fearful? Well Ryan did shutdown earlier, he supposes he’d be anxious too.

 

“Go away, Shane.” Ryan’s voice was horse. He sounded like he had been hit by a bus.

 

“I’m gonna open the door-“

  
“Don’t!”

 

“Okay I won’t,” The door stayed closed and Shane leaned his back against it. “Your mom let me in..She um, she was worried. So was I. You kinda just vanished into the hoards of people. Was it the Sara thing?”

 

Ryan flinched at her name.

 

“I’m sorry if it hurt you..I guess you’d be worried that I wouldn’t have time for you anymore? That I’d ditch you or something, but I won’t. You’re always gonna be my best friend, I’m not gonna drop everything for her and be with her 24/7.”

 

‘You’re always gonna be my best friend.’

 

The words echoed in Ryan’s mind. Nothing more. Nothing more _ever_. Just best friends.

 

“Just leave me _alone,_ Shane!” His voice cracked when he said Shane’s name. It was all too much. His heart hurt. His head hurt. He needed to get his shit together before he could even consider being around his _best friend_.

 

“Ryan I really don’t want to leave you while you’re like this I think-“

 

“Fuck. Off.” The venom in his tone stung Shane. He was taken aback by how harsh Ryan’s words were. He got up from where he was leaning on the door and started to walk away, but not before he heard his friend scream into his pillow and start bawling.

 

* * *

 

 

Ryan hadn’t been at school in a few days and needless to say, everyone was worried.

 

His mom and dad didn’t know what to do, Ryan barely told them anything. They put it down to stress and let their son have the rest of the week off. Back at school, Shane had been near mute as well. He was constantly checking his phone to see if Ryan had messaged him or tried to call him. Obviously there was nothing new.

 

He stared down at his lock screen for the fifth time in 2 minutes. It was a photo of him and Ryan at the abandoned warehouse down the road from their local mall. Ryan had dragged Shane and their friend TJ along as one final adventure before TJ moved to Florida. The photo was taken in front of defaced rusty shipping containers. Both of them were laughing and pointing at the giant dick that had been graffitied on the side of one of the containers in bright yellow.

 

Shane smiled at the memory, almost chucked, before being bought back to reality with Sara nudging him.

 

“If he hasn’t talked to you since Wednesday, he’s not going to text you now. Put your phone away and try to relax.” Sara had a sad smile on her face and Shane knew she was right.

 

“Yeah I know..I just..I’m so worried about him. He was so torn up after school, I can’t stop hearing his sobs in the back of my mind. They were _my fault_. But why? Maybe I should’ve spoken to him more. L-let him know I’m never gonna leave him. Maybe if I had just been a better friend then maybe-“

 

Arms on his shoulders stopped him spiralling. Shane had been spiralling a lot lately. All he could think about was what he could’ve done to do better and what he would say to Ryan if he were here.

 

Shane turned around and saw a concerned looking Andrew.

 

“Dude you have to calm down. None of this was your fault. Ryan’s clearly working through some shit and we just have to wait for him to feel cool enough to tell us what’s going on. Let’s just go to lunch and meet with the others, maybe someone has spoken to him.” 

 

Shane wanted to protest. Tell Andrew is Ryan was working through _anything_ , then he would know about it because they don’t keep secrets from each other. But instead he just nodded solemnly and followed him to the cafeteria, Sara smiling and telling him she’ll speak to him later as she went off and joined her friends.

 

Their table consisted of Ryan, Shane, Andrew, Steven, Jen, Ella, Zach, Keith, Ned and Ned and Keith’s girlfriends, Ariel and Becky. Sometimes Sara and a couple of her friend’s (Eugene, Quinta, Freddie and Kelsey) would join them but that was rare, due to the fact that Eugene would try to pick a fight with Ella _a lot._ No one knew why but Eugene would always find something to argue about, especially if Zach was involved.

 

Everyone else was already sat down and Shane took a seat next to Jen who rubbed his back and gave him a sympathetic look. Why was everyone giving him sad looks today? Were they meant to make him feel better? The sad looks aren’t going to make Ryan talk to him or come to school.

 

There was a whisper on the other side of the table as Zach handed his phone to Steven, who then sighed and nodded. The phone was then passed to Ned and Ariel who both gave knowing looks to everyone else.

 

“Hello? You know I can see you guys, right? What was on Zach’s phone? Zach what did your phone say?” Panic struck Shane’s voice.

 

Everyone went silent and looked anywhere but Shane. Shane felt the anger boiling inside him and before he got up and left, Zach passed his phone to Jen and nodded to her.

 

“Just..Just show him. He told me last night that I could show him.” Zach mumbled.

 

“Wait, I’m sorry what? Is this Ryan? You’ve spoken to him? Zach what the fuck you promised you would let me know if-“

 

The phone was thrust into Shane’s shaking hands before he could continue. Everyone at this table had read this text except for him. He exhaled and looked down.

 

‘Ryan Boogara (11:10am): fuck all of this??? like dude tf?? feelings?? they r the biggest load of bullcrap i have ever experienced. remind me to never get them again. also remind me to go to the doctors and ask if they can surgically replace my tear ducts because mine have been run dry. there are no more tears to let fall. i can’t believe shane was so oblivious but also i can’t believe that i wasn’t more forward with how i felt. if i had been maybe this could’ve worked out nd we could b the high school sweethearts i dreamed abt. how do people DEAL WITH THIS!!!!!!!! HOW DID NED AND KEITH DO THIS???? HOW DID STEVEN DO THIS???? AT LEAST THEY WERE ALL LUCKY!!!! THEIR INTENSE PINING GOT THEM A RELATIONSHIP!!! BUT ME??? LITTLE OL RYAN STEVEN BERGARA GOT NONE OF THAT!!!! ALL I GOT WAS HEARTACHE AND HURT!!!! why do. straight people exist? CHALLENGE ME THAT KORNFELD why do they exist an d why does the one (1) man i love have to be one of them. read that with a lot of spite. it was dumb from day one and you told me it wouldn’t have been worth it but i didn’t listen. and then i told jen and i didn’t listen to HER anD THEN I WENT TO EUGENE LEE YANG FOR ADVICE YESTERDAY ON HOW TO GET OVER IT AND HE TOLD ME TO DRINKMY FEELINGS AWAY AND HERE I AM!!!! dude im wasted. all of my feels have intensified so much. its only 11am. WOOwee. if i ever see shane madej again I’m gonna punch him in the face and then kiss his lips better. i love him zachy. i love him. sso much

 

Me (12:00pm): dude are you okay? literally no one has heard from you since you ran off and shane is such a mess he is not handling anything well

 

Me (1:30pm): hey man remember drink some water and take painkillers

 

Ryan Boogara (9:00pm): jesus fuck i just woke up

 

Ryan Boogara (9:00pm): i’m sorry you had to deal with that

 

Me (9:03pm): no it’s alright are you okay?

 

Ryan Boograra (9:04pm): yeah i have a massive headache and i miss shane. a lot.

 

Me (9:04pm): he misses you too

 

Me (9:04pm): he’s acting like you’ve died

 

Ryan Boogara (9:04pm): i feel like i’ve died too

 

Ryan Boogara (9:04pm): can you tell him i’m sorry and i love him

 

Ryan Boogara (9:05pm): i’m over lying to him

 

Ryan Boogara (9:05pm): you know what, just show him this i’m done

 

Ryan Boogara (9:05pm): at least then he has the weekend to process my shit and can decide on monday if he still wants to be my friend

 

Me (9:06pm): are you sure you’re not still drunk?

 

Ryan Boogara (9:06pm): yeah just do it

 

Ryan Boogara (9:06pm): im gonna try and go to bed gnight zach

 

Me (9:06pm): goodnight ry get some rest’

 

Shane couldn’t do anything except stare at the phone. He reread the message over and over. Ryan…had feelings for him? Since when?

 

Shane didn’t notice he was crying until he felt Jen’s arms wrap around his side. Next to him, Keith rested his hand on his shoulder and gave him a pat. Shane missed his friend so much. And now his fears were confirmed that it was his fault, the guilt ate him up even more than usual.

 

Shane stumbled over his words, “I have-I’ve got-Ryan I need to see him-I want to talk to him”

 

Shane pushed himself up from his seat, despite his friend’s protests. He just kept walking, out of the cafeteria, out of the school grounds. Ryan’s house was a 20 minute walk from school and although taking an uber could’ve been quicker, Shane refused to waste any time, he knew he had to get to Ryan.

 

A sweaty and out of breath Shane pounded on the front door to the Bergara’s and when no one answered, he managed to break in with his debit card, a trick he learnt off Mike, a kid in his forensic science class. Shane marched upstairs and without knocking opened the door to Ryan’s room.

 

Ryan was lying in bed, his back to the door, completely oblivious to the man standing in the doorway.

 

“Why?”

 

Ryan sat bolt upright in bed and turned to the voice. He was a sight to behold, it seemed like he hadn’t slept in days and he smelt of vodka. Ryan’s face paled and he looked like he had seen a ghost.

 

“Shane? I-what did Zach show you the text?” Fear seeped into Ryan’s voice.

 

“ _Why?_ ” This time Shane’s voice cracked. He could feel the lump in his throat rise.

 

“I’m sorry.” Ryan croaked.

 

Shane walked towards the bed and pushed Ryan down and kissed him. Both of them were surprised at the taller man’s actions but neither made an effort to stop. Shane climbed on top of Ryan, their lips not breaking apart. Ryan tasted like alcohol and Shane like mint. Their mouths worked together and Ryan released a low moan.

 

Since when did Shane want this? Maybe he always did, subconsciously, but never let himself think about it. Thank God he had called off the date with Sara until this whole thing with Ryan blew over.

 

The two boys pulled away for air, both of them crying, their tears mixed together on each others cheeks. Shane let out a breathy laugh.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“So am I.”

 

“Good you should be.”

 

Ryan grinned and sighed contently, “I really like you, Shane.”

 

“I don’t know how I feel, but I do know that I really liked kissing you.”

 

“Then kiss me again.”


	2. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it” + “You can’t just keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

Over the last year of filming Unsolved, Shane and Ryan had gotten considerably closer. Anyone who didn’t know them would think that they were dating. Jokingly flirting, sleeping almost on top of each other when they filmed on location, holding hands, things your average couple would do. They were always teased for it by their coworkers for it, too.

Seriously, the girls at Ladylike were relentless.

Ryan first realised that what they were doing after the episode they filmed in the Sallie House. Ryan had walked out. The energy had gotten way too much for him and he just couldn’t be in the house anymore. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack, and he did. The only person who he would let come near him was Shane, and somehow, the taller man calmed Ryan down and convinced him to go back into the house with him. 

After the crew left and the boys were in bed, Ryan snuggled closer to Shane. They played it off as a joke on camera but Ryan just wanted to get as close to Shane as he could. He worked out then, that he wanted to be in Shane’s arms for the rest of his life. 

The thought initially scared him, but really, if Shane was reciprocating everything Ryan was doing, then he had to be into him too, right? Ryan decided to test his theory when Shane stayed at his apartment one night, pulling an all-nighter trying to finish editing the latest episode. Ryan was hunched over his laptop when he finally finished cutting the final clip. He glanced over at Shane next to him, his tall figure half asleep on the couch. 

Shane looked almost peaceful and Ryan just couldn’t help himself anymore. He leaned over and pecked Shane on the lips. The tall man reacted almost immediately and pulled away with a gasp. Ryan could feel his heart sink. He’d just ruined everything that the two of them had built together. He went to open his mouth to explain himself when he felt Shane’s lips touch his again and fireworks exploded. 

This was everything he could’ve wanted. 

The kissing moved to the bedroom but before it could escalate to anything more, Shane passed out on the bed, clearly drained from their long day. Meanwhile, Ryan couldn’t keep the butterflies in his stomach calm. This had given him hope. Maybe he and Shane could become a ‘thing’?

A couple weeks pass and the two of them still sneak off for their little rendezvous together, being careful as not to get caught. But one day, Shane came into the office as normal and when Ryan went to hold his hand under the table he pulled away.

“What the hell, man?” Ryan questioned, confused. He’s never seemed to have a problem with it before, he even initiated the hand holding or secret make-out sessions in the bathrooms.

“I have a girlfriend now Ryan, we can’t keep doing this.” Shane whispered.

If you listened carefully enough, you could hear Ryan’s heart shatter.

“What?” The younger man hissed. 

“I have a shoot for Debatable today,” Shane said getting up. “I have to go, but we can talk about this after work, okay?”

Ryan was too shellshocked to reply. He just stared as Shane walked away from him.

The day went by and the pair didn’t see each other at all (minus lunch when Ryan made the quickest smoothie of his life whilst Shane watched from where he was sitting, then rushed back to his desk). After work came and they decided on going back to Ryan’s because it was the apartment closest to work. The uber ride was taken in silence, neither one of them too keen on talking, and thankful the driver respected that. 

As soon as the door closed Shane started explaining himself. Ryan couldn’t focus on his words until he heard Shane say,

“We’re just friends, Ry. It was all a bit of fun and games, nothing serious. It didn’t mean anything. Honestly, I’d rather forget the whole thing.”

He was so nonchalant about the whole situation.

“What the fuck, Shane? We’re not ‘just friends’ and you fucking know it! You can’t just pretend all of this didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!” Ryan was fired up now. How dare Shane have the audacity to brush everything off like nothing happened? How were they supposed to go back to normal after this?

What was normal for them anymore?

“I need you Shane, I can’t believe you’re doing this! This is so ridiculous..I-I-I don’t even know what to say.”

Shane admitted he felt bad. Their ‘relationship’ or whatever they wanted to call it did mean something to him, but ultimately he knew he needed to stop screwing around. He was 31 for gods sake. He needed to find someone to settle down with and Ryan just wasn’t that person, no matter how perfect he seemed.

Shane took a deep breath and grabbed Ryan’s hand, dragging him to the couch. He sat Ryan on his lap and kissed him. Ryan of course responded immediately, he was struck with those same butterflies he gets every time he kisses Shane.

“For old times sake?” Shane whispered once they pulled apart, their foreheads resting on each other. Ryan knew he couldn’t just say no to Shane. Shane had Ryan wrapped around his little finger. He responded by grinding down on Shane’s crotch, eliciting a moan from him.


	3. “is that my shirt?”

“Hey Shane! Have you seen my- Oh my god.” Ryan stifled a laugh as he walked into his bedroom to find his boyfriend tangled in his shirt. A shirt that is 2 sizes too small. At least. “Is that my shirt?”

“Are you gonna stand there or are you going to get me out of your baby-sized top?” Shane’s head was through the head hole and one of his arms was through an arm hole (backwards) and he had his other arm halfway through the other sleeve but you could definitely see that it was way too tight on him and he was struggling to get it off. How did he even get it on in the first place?

“Not before I get photos of this.” 

“Ryan, I’m serious!”


	4. “Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything” + “How can you still look so attractive while crying”

A hard day at work mixed with Ryan's rising anxiety of his girlfriend finding out his biggest secret was not a good. Pair that with alcohol and that boy was too far gone to do anything about it. 

It was only a mistake. That's what he kept telling himself. That the kiss didn't mean anything. That the warm feeling he got in his tummy and the blush that formed on his cheeks was because of the drinks he had had throughout the night. 

Ryan Bergara tried so hard to convince himself that he didn't feel anything when he kissed Shane Madej. But he felt a lot. 

He knew he had to tell Helen. The guilt ate away at him piece by piece and soon there wouldn't be anything left of him. She deserved better than a liar. Helen was incredible, but somewhere in their relationship, something went wrong and Ryan had lost the spark he had once felt for her. That broke his heart more that anything. He knew it would be easier to continue dating Helen, try and urge that spark back, but he had to stay true to himself. 

\-----

Shane had woken up and gone to work as he usually would everyday. But this day when he arrived something seemed off. He sat at his desk and logged into his computer and emails and saw that the top an urgent message. 

‘To: SMadej@Buzzfeed.com  
From: RBergara@Buzzfeed.com  
Subject: !!!!!!!!!!!  
Message: come to the bathrooms opposite our desk i need to talk to you’

Shane thinks for a minute. What’s so bad that they had to talk in the bathrooms? Oh my god the drunk night. He bolts up from his chair and tries to inconspicuously walk to the mens toilets. He knew rationally he wasn’t going to draw attention to himself but his paranoia was strong as he made the quick walk.

He and Ryan were the only ones in the mens bathroom and as soon as Shane pushed the door open, Ryan shoved him against the wall and kissed him. 

Not what he was expecting. 

Shane quickly reciprocated the kiss before he could think about anything else. Yes, it was a drunk night, but the kiss meant so much to him. It wasn’t a mistake like Ryan had tried to convince himself. 

“Sorry um..I just wanted to see if um..I still felt the same as I did when I first kissed you.” Ryan said bashfully, redness creeping up his neck. 

“Do you?” Shane’s voice was just above a whisper, anxious about the words about the leave his companion’s mouth. 

“Yeah..” The two of them let go a breath neither realised they had been holding. Shane nervously laughed and went in to kiss Ryan again and they kissed fleetingly before Ryan spoke up again.

“Listen..I um..I’m gonna tell Helen about what happened that night and about us and how I really really like you Shane Madej.” Ryan’s voice cracked halfway through his sentence and he tried to smile but his face looked as if it would crumple at any second.

Shane was speechless, he didn't know what to say. He could only nod. But what would Helen think of him? Would she hate him? Probably, but that's understandable. Shane didn't even notice Ryan had began to cry until he heard the sniffs from the younger man. 

Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan and held him close. This situation was make or break. The two of them might not even work out, what then? They continue the show with added awkwardness? 

"I got really *hic* drunk last night and decided it was the right thing to do. And- why are you smiling like that?" Ryan pulled away from the hug and wiped away the tears.

Shane hadn't even noticed he'd been smiling, it was subconscious, which just made him smile more.

"How can you still look so attractive while crying?"

"Oh my god you're an idiot" Ryan laughed and leaned up to kiss Shane again.

Without warning the door flung open and in walked Zach and Eugene, hand in hand. Ryan and Shane couldn't pull away quick enough. 

"Oh my fucking god!" Zach shrieked. 

"Not a word tiny man or I break your glasses." Shane looked down at Zach and walked out with a wink.

"Just for the record, you guys are cute together." Ryan ruffled Zach's hair and followed Shane out the door. 

\-------

“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything.” Ryan begged, but Helen just sat there. Her eyes were glazed over as she tried to process what her (ex) boyfriend had just told her.

Ultimately, she saw it coming. She knew something was up just from the way the two men had started looking at each other. 

"Yeah um..yeah okay I have to go but like...I don't hate you Ryan, I just need time to process this...I still love you..Bye" Helen sighed and got up off the couch. She wasn't mad. Yet. 

Ryan heard the front door close and put his head in his hands. His phone buzzed next to him.

'From: Skeptic   
Message: is everything alright?   
do you want me to come over yet?

To: Skeptic  
Message: i need you 

From: Skeptic  
Message: i'll be 15 minutes'


End file.
